Alleghany Airlines Book Club Presents

A compendium of tiddlywinks perversions by Sunshine, February 1976

Table of contents

MISUSED EQUIPMENT

SQUIDGER

Two players, each has the shooting squidger and also a squidger in play (object squidger). A field size of about two feet by two feet is preferred. There are no turns, both players shoot as often and as quickly as desired. The object of the game is to squop the opponent's object squidger for 1 point, or to cause the opponent to shoot their squidger off the field for ½ point. A squidger is considered squopped if the enemy squidger comes to rest upon it, however momentarily, before it (the squidger) can be shot away. Shooting the enemy squidger is illegal and counts as 1 point if it was on your squidger, ½ point otherwise. No penalty is assessed for a squidger going off the field after bouncing off of one's opponent. Hands may be used to screen shots or to hassle your opponent, but only discreetly. Game is played to 10 points, with a winning margin of 1½ or better required. Squidger can also be played with more than two players. On any given round all players shoot until one squidger is squopped or until only one squidger remains on the table. Any squidger shot off the table by its rightful owner is out for the remainder of the round. Score 1 point for making a squop, minus 1 point for being squopped, and minus ½ point for shooting off the table. Highest net score after expiration of a time or round limit is declared victor.

It is recommended that filed down squidgers not be used as the shooting squidger as this is a dangerous physical game. It is also suggested that smaller squidgers not be used as object squidgers since these work poorly.

SQUIDGER POTTING

Squidgers have also been shot into pots. The recognized NATwA records for squidger potting are held by Winx Canada members - 89 consecutive successful pots, and one successful pot from as far away as 23 inches. For more stories about wayward squidgers, read the Super WINK squop game section.

MISCELLANEOUS POTTING

The record for winks shot on and remaining on top of an inverted pot is 22. The records for least shots to place specified numbers of winks (i.e., 10, 16) on the pot have not been officially recorded.

IDIOT VS WINKER (OR IDIOT'S DELIGHT)

Two players - one idiot and one winker. Twenty-four winks are spread out randomly in the middle of a three foot by three foot area. Play alternates, one shot per player per turn, with no bonus shots or loss of turn penalties. Score one point for each potted wink.

On the winker's turn he may attempt to pot any wink of his choosing. However, the idiot must try to pot the wink closest to the pot, using the pot to flip the wink into the air and then moving the pot to try to catch the wink (the process is known as idiot's delight). The idiot's shot must be in the direction of at least one other wink. If any wink falls out of the pot during the pot's motion, the wink is redeposited in the pot. However, a wink "potted'' during the fallout or one that enters pot after touching a part of the idiot, remains in the pot but is not considered potted (no score). The placement of the pot after idiotic attempts is to be where pot and wink made contact, or, it no contact was achieved, at six inches from restlng position of attempted wink. If placement fails to be within 12 inches of any wink, winker may place pot wherever they wish (on the field). Any squops that should occur are moved aside, with exception of pot squopping a wink.

The above game may also be attempted with both players engaged in idiot's delight. As this is as foolish as idiot vs winker, but not with time tested amusement value, this perversion has not been tried.

POTPOT

Two players, two winks (both large or both small), two pots. Each player starts with one wink next to a pot, with a separation of one foot between pots. Turns alternate, player shooting his or her wink with the pot towards the enemy pot. The pot is placed where the shot started in case of missed shots. A round continues until a pot is made and as many rounds as are desired may be played.

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