Stroboscopic photo of a wink being potted in the game of tiddlywinks The North American Tiddlywinks Association
T i d d l y w i n k s !
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This issue is now known as Newswink 4.


Newswink

THE OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF THE NORTH AMERICAN TIDDLYWINKS ASSOCIATION


Vol 3, No 2 / April, 1970 EDITORS: ROSIE WAIN and ANDY TOMASZEWSKI Price--25c


FERD BUYS TRUCK

Toronto: On the grim and sleety night of February 12 an exhausted Somerville team staggered into the University of Toronto. Two days later they left for home, having secured the NATwA Team Championship for the second consecutive year. On the Saturday morning, as the matches were just getting under way, Somerville's Ferdinand T. Bull said they were so confident of a win that they had left the CHYM Trophy at their home near Boston, Massachusetts.

In the first round of the tournament HYTHNLBTWOC of Philadelphia defeated the University of Waterloo in a sudden death playoff which qualified them to play for the championship against MIT and Somerville of Boston, Cornell of Ithaca, New York, and the University of Toronto. A "B" League was organised by Severin Drix in his own inimitable fashion. This league included Sid Freund's young and enthusiastic group from an elementary school in West Harlem who were flown in in style from New York City for the occasion.

Due to the efficient planning and organisation of Bryon Alexandroff, the tournament ran more smoothly than any previous Continentals. Members of the news media were in evidence throughout the weekend and the event received an unprecedented amount of publicity before, during, and after the tournament. The attention given to the annual meeting was another indication of the increasing popularity of the game of Tiddlywinks on this continent. It is thought that the expansion of NATwA will continue at its remarkable rate.

Every year, the Mythical Yvonne F. Lukey Memorial Award is given to the player who succeeds in making the most improbably shot of the Continentals tournament. This year it is awarded to Sunshine of HYTHNLBTWOC who, during a game with Lindsey Horenblas and Wendy Levinson of Toronto, potted seven winks in a row.

Top pair of the weekend were Bob Henninge and Jon Miller who won 10 games of 12 for a total of 60 5/6 points. Best unsubstituted pair were Tim Schiller and Franz Christ who accumulated 53½ points, followed closely by Bryon Alexandroff and Mel Solomon of Toronto with 53 1/6, and Ferd Bull and Jeff Wieselthier with 52. Sunshine and Naomi Gusowski, whose brilliant play had made them favourites in the early rounds, had faded to fifth place by the end of the tournament.

On the Saturday evening the annual NATwA Congress was held at Crash Hall, at which Bryon Alexandroff was elected Secretary-General for the following year and was presented with the NATwA Man of the Year Award. Platooning, kibbutzing, and several points of rule were discussed and agreed upon. But the question remains: Well Ferd call his truck Andy?

EDITORIAL

Earlier in the year we received a reference from Severin Drix to a Life Magazine article from Dec. 14, 1962 (Vol. 53, No. 24.) As Severin mentioned, it referred to a previous NATwA that "vanished with barely a trace". I can only assume that a few enthusiasts got together in a couple of locations in North America but never bothered to introduce newcomers to the game. Presumably it was more appealing and stimulating to play with the more experienced Winkers and so any interested beginners were never instilled with the enthusiasm they needed. After a very short time the organisation disintegrated and later was re-established by Michael Gottesmann [sic]. In a similar fashion, this new NATwA thrived for a short time and it was starting to peter out when Mitchell Wand was elected Secretary-General. I know little about the formation of the MIT team, so I apologise if I am not giving credit where due; but as far as I know, Ferd Bull founded that team, and under the leadership of Mitch Wand it boomed. He not only established a very large local club, but had the foresight to write to about fifty colleges in the Eastern U.S., inviting them to partake in a very well nationally publicised Continentals. Meanwhile, Severin Drix was busy building his empire at Cornell and the resulting Continentals that year was a good mixture of first and second generation Winkers. Newcomers were immediately incorporated into the Association, and the temptation for the older Winkers to stick together was overcome. The next step in propagating the game was the formation of the first independent team by Sunshine in Philadelphia, and also the founding of the Somerville team by Ferd Bull and the emergence of the Ottawa team. The next major step was Regionalisation.

Regionalisation has had its growing pains this year. Neither Andy nor I can pretend that it was an overwhelming success, but it has been a reasonable start. It has enabled Winkers to come together more than once during the year, and the minor disagreements between East and West have at least shown that NATwA is not totally apathetic. The Western Regional tournaments unforunately did not come off as well as had been expected since not every team could be present at both meetings. But NATwA is not yet strong enough for us to disqualify any team which does not show up on time. The Continentals itself was a success with a great feeling of unity throughout the weekend. For the first time, I felt that third and fourth generation Winkers were as well established in NATwA as the old timers like myself. Bryon Alexandroff must be congratulated on the organisation of it all. He gained fantastic publicity across Canada and NATwA will do well under his leadership next year. I think that a shift of political influence in NATwA is a good thing. I should like to suggest that no single person may assume the position of Secretary-General for more than a period of say two years.

My reasons for retirement are varied. Actually, the main thing I'm retiring from is total involvement in Winks. But I must confess that I might just be tempted to join some sort of Old Timers' Team if one existed.

Finally, I should like to say a word about Andy. He deserved more credit than I think anybody realises. The influence he has had on "Newswink" is obvious. His imagination and wide scope of ideas has made this a far better publication. But more important is the thoroughness with which he has handled our joint Sec-Genship. I have been amazed at the ease with which he has organised NATwA this year, and I have been increasingly impressed with his ability to mentally file away {\underline all} the essential and non-essential information pertinent to the running of the Association. At the moment he probably knows more about what is going on than anyone else in NATwA. I hope that Andy will at least continue to edit "Newswink" next year.

Rosie Wain


E R R A T A

RECORDS: Sunshine says 996, not 997; also, four 33's, not two.

CONGRESS MINUTES: 9 can be 4+2+3, or even 5+2+2, not necessarily 3x3.



LETTERS to the EDITOR

Many thanks for the excellent edition of Newswink (Vol. III, No. 1.) My only adverse comment is that I do not think that the presence of comics helps to promote a mature image!

Phil Villar
Hartford, Conn.

Living in Michigan has several disadvantages, one of which is that access to regulation equipment, rules, and personalities is nonexistent. However, the fame of the NATwA has reached even to here in Ann Arbor where the Winks force has been mainly underground. After reviewing the structural changes in rules in Newswink #1, a discussion arose and out of it several suggestions of our own.

First, we agree the name should be changed to Winks as that is how it has been referred to here for many years. Second, to initiate the uneducated barbarians into the intricacies of Winks a two level program should be instituted. The second, higher level should be the system as it is now, with whatever modernisation is deemed necessary. However the first, more simple level can cover a smaller realm of rules.

Suggestion is as follows: play, two or four players, teams or not, using four or five of the same size winks only. Each time a wink covers another player's wink, the covering player gets an extra turn to uncover and the first player to get all his winks into the tub wins. No points, just single contests. As each player is allowed one turn to tie, the resulting ties could be played over as a whole new game or merely sudden death.

The transition from the lower level to the higher real level can be made easily after an appreciation of the skill involved is attained. I can document the transition with actual case records as this is what we did from Haverford High to the U. of Michigan.

Michael Brachman
Ann Arbor, Mich.

Having been recently informed of the selection of the two of you as the temporary Secretary-General(s) of NATwA, may I be the first to offer my hearty congratulations. In choosing you they have made a good choice (although not the best.)

I would like to take this opportunity to give some relevant and reasoned suggestions for the improvement of future matches. I base my suggestions on my experiences at the recent NATwA Eastern Regionals where, after successfully potting out against Ferd, I had the honour of being named to the All Star Team along with such notable and laudable personalities as Renke, Crick, Rumm, Schiller, and Earl. Thus I feel well-qualified to make the below-mentioned suggestions.

1 and First: French Fries should be BANNED from the playing area. The greasiness of the hands which results gives a definite advantage to un-hungry vs. hungry. Either everyone should eat French Fries or none should.

2 and Second: The length of a game should be changed to a more ecstatically pleasing 26¼ minutes. This would allow the perfectionists and idealists, such as myself, ample opportunity to reach their total mind-blowin experiences.

3 and Third and Final: Rookies at matches should be required to wear identification badges so as to facilitate their identification by the Old (burb) Guard. I personally found this (the non-wearing of badges) a handicap, since I was not identified as a legend until I and my partner were victoriously victorious over both Samson and Ferd.

I believe the above suggestions merit serious and studious study. I trust that you will agree.

Bill "Red Scarf" Gammerdinger
Philadelphia, Pa.

This, I believe, is a matter of utmost importance. More and more students are graduating and becoming individuals. I don't think it's good for NATwA for these people to float around and land with different teams every year. As a matter of fact, I don't think it's good for all of them to gather together to form one team, either. I can see a MIT grad team, Cornell grad team, etc., but clearly we must be more regulated.

Bill Renke,
Cambridge, Mass.

The MIT team somehow spent $403.99 for transportation to the Continentals.

My friends and I have been so thrilled by the recent articles in the press dealing with that great game, Tiddlywinks. It is marvelous to hear of the wonderful work that you and your mates are doing to introduce the game in this country.

A small but very dedicated group of us here in Moose Jaw have been aware of the great potential of Winks as an aid to relaxation in these troubled times, and of its great help in the development of a logical mind. Alas, this feeling is not shared by all. We have been forced to meet and play in secret due to threats against the physical well being of some of our more sensitive members by neighbors who do not understand.

I felt that I just had to write to you after seenig your marvelous interview on TV the other night, just between Biafra and the prostitution probelm.

It is our fond hope that through the efforts of wonderful people like yourself that we will soon be able to emerge and indulge in our game openly and for the enjoyment of all.

In the meantime we draw strength and courage from the knowledge that you are carrying forward the true message of our game.

May God bless you and aid you in all that you are doing.

J. Wesley Timms
Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan

If we can get a decent turnout (for the Pairs Tournament in May) say eight good pairs or more, this tournament will undoubtedly command the prestige it deserves (I'm not talking especially about publicity, but about our own feelings)—the pairs competition would seem to me to be at least the equal of the team competition, as far as getting at the real core of what Tw is about. It's a pairs game (compare to tennis, with the Davis cup and the world individual title.) And yet, even with that weight, the Pairs Tournament will remain lighter in mood, because of the psychological fact that you only have to worry about yourselves, not about a whole team of players, who's hot at any time, what pairings work, and so on. It's simple sport, and echt tournament on a field of honour.

Bob Henninge
Somerville, Mass.

P.S.: Sonny Terry (of Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee)'s favourite expression is, "Got you covered, man, got you covered." Does this rate him special
mention in the NATwA Closet of Fame?

Sender (call me Alphonse) Herschorn
Montreal, Quebec

Ed. note--This postscript was the origin of the term "NATwA Closet of Fame".

BOAST and RETORT

Reflections of an Armchair Winker:

POWER STRUCTURE (OR LACK OF IT) IN NATwA

How many executive positions currently exist in NATwA? One! (Secretary-General) Is the Secretary-General responsible for important decisions? No! Then how are they made?

There are, I think, a few names among Winkers in North America that are known by almost all members--Mitchell Wand, Ferd T. Bull, Severin Drix, Rosie Wain, and a handful of others who have acquired more recent fame. I believe that for the most part decisions are made by two or more of this handful and then the information is passed on to the others. Sometimes the Secretary-General is among the last to hear of these changes. Often teams without a big name are not informed until the enforced decision has put them out of contention.

I propose that over the next year plans for a governing body for NATwA be drawn up. The accepted plan should contain provisions for representation of every club that will be participating in the Regional and/or Continental play.

My own plan would consist of a four man executive: president, vice-president, secretary and treasurer; and a council composed of one member from each team. Details for this or a similar governing body could be workd out over the coming year and instituted at the next Continentals.

An efficient method of communication would be the prime goal of such a set up and would result in not only better organisation of matches but also more interest by members of NATwA and potential sponsors. I can see nothing but good from efforts in this direction and feel that the strongest argument against it can only be--"Let's try it, and if it doesn't work we can go back to the old system."

Carl Boast

Reply to the "Gnome at Home"

A year or more ago, some of Carl Boast's suppositions may have been valid. The operation of any organisation is of course dependent on efficient communication, and until the institution of Regionalisation, communication may have indeed been lacking in NATwA. But during the past season, communication between the Secretaries-General and the teams has been rather good. This, I believe, is due to the fact that Winkers under the Regional system are necessarily involved with the organisation for a longer period of time during the season than they were when the Continentals was the one, self-contained determinant of Winking supremacy.

Carl tells us that the Secretary-General is not responsible for important decisions. Of course not. In every possible instance during the past year, the important decisions have been made by the members, whether by a vote at the Regional meetings, or have been based upon the apparent wishes of the majority as reflected ni the letters written and phone calls and visits made wherein attitudes were voiced. Although Carl Boast's conception of the NATwA "Power Structure" is faulty throughout, I think it will suffice to ask him to substantiate his statements with facts before we indulge in any further discussion of the matter.

Our "armchair Winker's" proposal for a "governing body" is not a new one. I cannot disagree with his plan for an "executive", as I have advocated something similar (refer to Newswink editorial of September, 1970.) His "council composed of one member from each team" exists now and consists of team captains, with whom the Regional Co-ordinator communicates whenever an important issue arises. Surely Carl does not propose that these people meet in a council more often than at the Regionals and Continentals. The impracticability is obvious. However, if he is advocating that the efficiency of communication between these people be maximized, I cannot help but agree.

Andy Tomaszewski

PAIRS TOURNAMENT
Battle of the Century!

featuring
BOBBIN' BULL
vs
D. Q. HORSE
vs
VILLAR-DRIX MONSTER
and many more of the
all time greats !!!!

IN THE COMMONS LOUNGE
CARLETON UNIV. OTTAWA,
on the first and second of May
nineteen hundred and seventy-one.

winkends

Severin Drix's Blue Mountain Juniors (mostly grade 7) recently played host to Sid Freund's sixth-graders from West Harlem. The latter came away with a 40 1/6 - 22 5/6 victory.



Meets to be held this month:

April 4
Branches of the Tree Tournament in Teaneck, N.J.

April 11
Blue Mountain Seminar Winkend in Lake Mohegan, N.Y.

April 19
Haverford High School Annual Tournament in Havertown, Pa.

April 25
Boston Invitational Tournament in Boston, Mass. (MIT)

ROCINANATE on the ROAD

Upon our appointment as Secretaries-General we were determined to make this the best Winking year in the history of NATwA. But the mildly paranoid notion slowly grew within us that there might in fact not be a NATwA to run. So we took it upon ourselves to visit the Winking capitals within travelling distance in order to allay our fears.

MAXI TOUR

On the weekend of the Canadian Thanksgiving we took to the highway in Ferd de Ford (a noble and faithful steed of stell, named after that renowned Somerville Winker, Bob Henninge) and aimed him at Cornell. We didn't miss and to our delight discovered Imp Rouse asleep behind an SDS poster. When she awoke she told us glorious tales of a Winking land of plenty where teams had fifty players who held clinics every week, a land where Regionals would be held, a land where squidgers were holy and "submarine" was just a word. We waved a fond goodbye and muttered to ourselves.

Harpur College Binghampton was a different story however. With the aid of several concerned Harpur natives who cheerfully rendered totally usefless information, we managed in the space of three short hours to locate a Harpur Winker who said they used to, although not always, but didn't at all any more. We were so distressed at this news our hair fell out. But we baldly pushed on.

When we arrived at Lake Mohegan, Severin Drix greeted us with open arms full of snapshots of himself. When we had looked at the pictures and adequately praised the versatility of his hair, he let us in. Shortly thereafter, Ferd Bull and Bob Henninge emerged out of the bushes dragging their dulcimer behind them. At this very moment, somewhere in New Jersey, Sunshine was in the midst of a gruelling eight and a half hour hitch-hiking journey from Philadelphia to Philadelphia. And somewhere in Connecticut, Phil Villar was hiding.

As we five sat and chatted, Rosie and I drank half a bottle of 151-proof hair restorer, which almost instantly restored our hair. Unfortunately it all grew inward. The next item on the agenda was a game of "Five-way Squop Out", which is hairy enough in itself. (The game is described elsewhere in this issue.)

The next day, at the foot of Bear Mountain, we held the Bear Moutain Summit Conference, at which a long series of totally irrelevant Winking issues were discussed. The climax of the Conference was a game of imaginary volleywink. Immediately thereafter Bob had to leave for Boston, but Ferd stayed behind in order to spend every last possible minute with Severin. A few minutes later we drove him home to Boston as it was only three hundred miles out of our way.

The next morning, at his rural Waltham apartment, we visited Mitchell Wand who greeted us with open arms full of snapshots of his apartment. After we had seen them all, he let us in. It wasn't at all what we expected. Though we were quite comfortable, Mitch seemed to be bothered by a draft. For half an hour we enviously watched his beard grow, then left for home dragging our muffler behind us.

MINOTAUR

The following weekend, we visited Toronto and Waterloo, which were both there.

In Toronto a discussion was held on the organic chemical aspects of the game of Winks. At this meeting, Bryon Alexandroff took on the responsibility of promoting organic chemistry in North America.

In Waterloo's (Sergeant) Pepperland, a seminar was held on the possibility of the violent secession of Quebec from NATwA.

At that very moment, Quebec officially seceded from NATwA while, many miles away, Jeff Wieselthier was showing some friends pictures of his camera.

(from the London, England Observer - 8 Nov., 1970)

It's a dastardly blow for tiddlywinks that British justice should have decided neither to nod nor wink at tiddling in a pub for personal gain. "It falls within the Betting and Gaming Act," said York police, po-faced. The sporting landlord who had offered a crate of beer for the best player in the house has had to replace the contest with one for puffing at peas through a straw.

There's logic for you: not allowed to tiddle, but peas are quite in order.

5-way squop out

(conceptualized by Bob Henninge in a fit of incoherence)

Originated only a few months ago, this game has enjoyed increased popularity, especially among the "old guard" of the Eastern Region.

The usual equipment is used, with the addition of a fifth colour (either the old light blue winks are used, or yellow winks distinguished by a magic marker design.)

The five players begin at points equidistant from each other, and from the pot. The usual rules apply, with the exception of two:

  1. there is no time limit
  2. a potted wink is considered permanently squopped

The object of the game is to squop out your opponents. The vital tactic is to squop your opponents' winks and pot them in desquopping.

 

The most interesting part of the game is that only one pair of the five players may win. Pairs are sometimes not decided until the last shot of the game, because (see diag.)

A star with letters C, D, E, A, and B at the points. Solid lines from A to C, A to D. Dashed lines from B to D, C to E.

A, for example, can only win with C or D as a partner, and B and E are his opponents. However, these last two are each potential partners of one of A's potential partners (C or D). By the same token, A's potential partners (C and D) are each others' opponents. All of which leads to such things as temporary alliances, gang tactics, lying and betrayal.

Altogether a good game in which to vent your represeed sadistic tendencies. Not recommended for people with high blood pressure, asthma, paranoia, or toes.

SUNSHINE * SAYS *

NEWSWINK should definitely tell its numerous readers about 5-way squop games. Maybe another perversion should also be told about. This one is excellent for non-competitive Winking as well as for squopping for nonequal players. Usual number of participants is 2 or 3. The game is called either "4 way–3 way or 3 way–2 way." One plays with one more colour than there are Winkers; alternate shots. Thus, eventually a colour wins and strange piles develop and players get to squop winks that they had just shot and missed. And if any colour is quopped out, Winkers get to shoot consecutively and all sorts of things can happen. Beginners and old pros at this game will not that 4 or maybe 5 of each colour is far better than 6 as the game tends to end that way whereas 6 could be lengthy which doesn't matter either.

Tennis style squop match:

-- 6 winks vs. 5 winks with serve (sixth wink) alternating, until 6 wins or more with margin of 2. (Tie breakers--best 2 of 3 6-6 games.

Thank you, Sunshine

 

What are the real names of:
Bozo ?
Moishe ?
Ferd T. Bull ?
Sunshine ?
Severin Drix ?

- - FERD SAYS - -

.... Regis really missed its grand opportunity to add more chaos (at the Eastern Regionals.) They should have showed up Sunday after not doing so Saturday. (Thus a 5-way round robin resulted instead of two 3-ways, one 4-way and half a freeway.)

NATwA AWARDS

NATwA Man of the Year: Bryon Alexandroff

NATwA Oath of the Year: GAMMERDINGER ! !

(Honorable mention: Christ ! and Bull !)

NATwA Couple of the Year: Marty Vine and his Freund, Sid.

Best Dressed Winker at the Continentals: Moishe--the highlight of whose stunning outfit was a pair of co-ordinated construction boots. (Unco-ordinated feet, however.)

REGIONALS

Due to the increasing number of teams in NATwA, it was decided at the 1970 Congress to initiate a system of Regionalisation which, for the 1970-71 season entailed the creation of an Eastern and a Western Region. Although it appeared in the fall that as many as 21 teams might be involved, the field was cut to six teams in the West and five teams in the East who competed for the right to enter the North American Team Championships.

Cornell

The first Western Regionals were held at Cornell University the weekend of Nov. 21-22. Cornell came out on top of a tight battle for first place with Toronto by a slim margin of less than two points. Final scores:

Cornell 159⅔
Toronto 157⅚
Ottawa 139
Waterloo 101½
and McGill 72

Mel Solmon and Bryon Alexandroff of Toronto were overall best pair with a 10-2 record for 62 1/3 points. The other two Toronto pairs came third and fourth, while Rocinante of Ottawa came second. The absence of Cornell pairs in these standings is largely due to the frequent realignment of their pairs. Notable individuals, however, were Fred Hesser and Dave Barbano.

Case WRU experienced transportation problems and at the last moment found it impossible to come. Everyone was particularly impressed with the determination and enthusiasm of the McGill team, who were playing in their first match.

A meeting was held after the tournament during which it was discovered that Toronto and Cornell would not be able to appear at the planned second Regional Tournament. However, in order to allow the Case team to compete, and to allow other teams to compete who seemed likely to reach a higher level of Winking competence as the season progressed, it was suggested that the second Regionals be held as planned, at a date near that of the Continentals. It was moved that the winner of this tournament be awarded third place in the Western Region standings, and that this team play off against the third team from the Eastern Region for the fifth qualifying spot in the Continentals, thus making the latter a five team tournament. It was thought that this would help to maintain a high level of interest during the Winking year, both in the Eastern and Western Regions, as well as improve attendance at the Continentals. The plan was met with overwhelming approval. The institution of the plan was of course subject to approval by a meeting of the Eastern Region teams. Reports from the East subsequent to the Eastern Regionals indicated that there was at least moderate approval of the scheme, and the 1971 Continentals was to be a five-team tournament attended by a least six teams.

MIT

The one-and-only Eastern Regionals were held at MIT on the weekend of December 5-6. MIT "A" won a close three-way battle for first place which featured Somerville and HYTHNLBTWOC as the prime contenders. Final scores:

MIT "A" 157
Somerville 145
HYTHNLBTWOC 141½
MIT "B" 96½
and Blue Mountain 90

Best pair were Severin Drix and Phil Villar (popularly known as the Villar-Drix monster) who had a 10-2 record for 60½ points. Moishe-Shadix of MIT "A" were 9-3 for 57 points, Schiller-Christ of MIT "A" were 9-3 for 57 points, Sunshine-Naomi of HYTH 8-4 for 53, and Bob Henninge and friends 8-4 for 52½. Ferd Bull and Jeff Wieselthier, inspired by the Singing Winkers who sang from the Wobbly Song Book as they played, were a very impressive combination. To the relief of their opponents, they played only three games for a 3-0, 15½ point record.

Waterloo

The second Western Regionals were held at the University of Waterloo on January 22, during their Winter Weekend. The matches were played in a licensed room in their Student Centre, which made for a light, enjoyable tournament. Although it is written, "Thou shalt not drink and wink," many of the participants imbibed, and play was generally quite relaxed.

Final scores:

Waterloo 74½
Ottawa 69
Case WRU 45½

Top pair of the weekend were Rocinante of Ottawa, who had a 5-1 record for 31 points; followed closely by Ronald Rumm and Henry Shield of Waterloo, 5-1 for 30; and Ross Bell and Brenda Wilson of Waterloo, 5-1 for 26. The victory by Waterloo qualified them for the third-team sudden death playoff vs. HYTHNLBTWOC at the Continentals.

As a result of the above Regional Tournaments, the five teams to play for the North American Team Championship were: MIT "A", Somerville, Cornell, Toronto, and HYTHNLBTWOC or Waterloo.

Ronald Rumm blows winks

CONTINENTAL CAPERS

"This is as serious as Tiddlywinks ever gets."--Bob Henninge

The NATwA Lack A. Daisy Butter Cup is awarded this year to the entire Waterloo team, who disappeared immediately after their elimination in the first round. Someone said they had gone to watch, of all things, a basketball game. And Lindsey Horenblas remarked remorsefully, "All I ever saw of Rumm was toes, toes, toes." (The rest of Rumm had not appeared.) But the battle continued.

At one table, Sunshine and Naomi Gusowski were playing brilliantly against Ferd Bull and Jeff Wieselthier. The Somervillains were squopped out. But at a strategic point in the game, at the end of free turns, Naomi performed the famed hypothetical "Ask Andy" shot. The Somerville wink she attempted to free headed straight into (and under) a large and very crucial pile. Most observers agreed on the classical answer to the problem: "I dunno." Eventually, it was agreed that the wink in question should be freed by moving aside all of the winks above it. (Take note of the precedent.) The resulting Somerville desquop blew the game wide open, but the play of the HYTH pair was faultless as they once again took control of the game and went on to win 6-1.

The pair caused still more excitement during the tournament. Sunshine, of course, won the Mythical Yvonne F. Lukey Memorial Award as he potted seven winks in one turn. (His last shot succeeded in potting one of his opponents winks as well as his own.) The advantage of a pre-potted wink allowed Lindsey Horenblas and Wendy Levinson to minimize their losses, as they saved the 5-2 score. Nothing said about Naomi's potting.

Later on, however, Naomi and Tim Schiller had the NATwA Row of the year about which of the two should be allowed to play blue. They had both favored the colour for over three years, and Naomi had even brought her own customized blue winks. The dispute was settled by the toss of a coin, which was won by Naomi who proceeded to punish Tim for his insolence by handing him a 6-1 defeat.

Somewhere else in the room, Glen Kezwer performed a feat never before attempted by man. No one ever bothered, actually. In the last crucial shot of a game, he potted a wink below a wink below a wink.....

For the first time in the history of NATwA Jeff Wieselthier shed his oufits of black and white—a tradition he has kept up since the beginning of the Association—and burst forth this year in glorious living colour. This must be recorded as a milestone in the history of NATwA.

Business was good as usual for Severin Drix, whom Ferd Bull refers to as "NATwA's travelling salesman." Mats and sets had sold so well early in the tournament that Severin had little to do but run around be disgusted at having to play in the "B" League, which he had organised in any case.

At this moment, Ferd himself and team mate Steve Kessler burst into song with a medley of selections from the Wobbly Song Book, while Andy was furiously taking pictures with a camera that didn't wind, and Rosie stood up and screamed, "The whole world has gone PUCE!!!"

The annual Congress was held on the Saturday evening in the common sleeping quarters. The accommodation was designed to promote the feeling of togetherness among the Winkers. It was also the only space available. It also ensured that everyone went to sleep at the same time (4 a.m.) and awoke at the same time (5 am.)

The pre-Congress warm-up began with a yo-yo tournament featuring Bozo pitted in bitter combat with Gerry Linden, who has since been busted for telephoning himself long-distance. Highlight of the warmup was a game of 5-way Freak Out with Frisbee around the snooker table. Bridge games were also played, with the notable absence of NATwA's most avid bridge player, Wayne Jennings of Case WRU, who had organised everyone at the Waterloo meet in such a fashion that he could be fourth in one game while he was dummy in another. In the midst of this chaos, the Somervillains once more opened their book of Wobbly Hymns to join in a rousing chorus and fill the room with the spirit of old Joe Hill. (whoever he was.)

Many things came to light during the Congress, the most notable of which was Tim Schiller's revelation that "Moishe is a person." The NATwA Closet of Fame was founded, but left empty as no one could decide what the qualifications for entrance should be. Bryon Alexandroff, Mitchell Wand, and Bill (Red Scarf) Gammerdinger were nominated for Secretary-General for the following year. The last of these declined the nomination and graciously freed his supporters to vote according to their conscience. Voting was as follows: 18 for Bryon Alexandroff, 10 for Mitch Wand, 4 mixed emotions and 18 "who cares?" At this point, Bill Renke apologetically explained that Mitch Wand wouldn't be out of the army until April, because he couldn't pot grenades. It was then that Glen Kezwer finally worked up the courage to ask, "Who's this Mitch guy, anyway?"

(Sorry, Mitch, there's one in every crowd.)

QUICKIES

It was pleasant to note that the dominant colour of clothing at this year's Continentals was puce. The French name for the game of Tiddlywinks is "Jeu de Puces".

Mark Lindsay, at least on the cover of his "Arizona" album, bears a remarkable resemblance to one of our favourite Winkers. A hint: Mark Lindsay's biggest hit was "Silver Ferd".

The National Library of Canada has demanded copies of each issue of NEWSWINK per the National Library Acts of 1952 and 1969 for "the library's permanent collection where it is available for consultation and research."

Congratulations are extended to Mitch Wand for his release from, and survival of "Selected Servitude". Mitch is returning to the world after a six-month stretch in the armed forces of the U.S.A. One of the letters he sent Rocinante while he was in was signed:

So long,
Mitch

Peace sign

Found in the wake of the Continentals:

One green duffle bag.
One flag.
Joe Hill.

Thanks to Mary Pat Rouse and the Cornell kitty for their kind and generous financial contribution to NEWSWINK.

Rosie presents the NATwit of the Year Award to "Rocinante on the Road", and "Continental Capers", and other trash.

Latest quote from Rosie Wain: "You don't mind having my editorial in your magazine..... do you, Andy?"

Never burn your squidges behind you.

ASK ANDY

Dear Andy,
Whatever happened to the dear Rosie column?

-- Rosie.

DEAR ROSIE

Dear Rosie,
I dunno.

-- Andy.

(What do you do when you have a column left over?)

Andy writing NEWSWINK: grumble, grumble, grumble for hours on end, and suddenly SNAP! your mind cracks and there it comes.

LIFE IS A WINK ON THE MAT OF TIME

SECRETARY-GENERAL'S APPENDIX

NORTH AMERICAN TIDDLYWINKS CONTINENTALS at Toronto February 13 & 14

TEAM PAIRS

TORONTO
T1 Bryon & Mel
T2 Lindsey & Wendy
T3 Glen & Barry

HYTHNLBTWOC
H1 Sunshine & Naomi
H2 Bill & Dean
H3 Jake, Shana, Nestor

MIT
M1 Moishe & Shadix
M2 Marlin & Renke
M3 Schiller & Christ

CORNELL
C1 Dave & Gerald (Bozo)
C2 Lee, Fred, Marty, Sid
C3 Mary Pat (mp) & Debby

SOMERVILLE
S1 Ferd & Jew
S2 Bob H & Jon M or Sue
S3 Steve K & Bob G & Sue &/or Jon M

PAIR SCORES (and match totals)

TORONTO (24)
CORNELL (39)

  C1 C2 C3  
T1 1-6 2½-4½ 4-3
T2 4-3 5-2 2½-4½ 11½

T3
1-6 1-6 3-4 5
  15 12½ 11½  

SOMMERVILLE {sic} (35)
MIT (28)

  M1 M2 M3  
S1 6-1 4½-2½ 6-1 13
S2 6-1 6-1 1-6 14
S3 1-6 3½-3½ 1-6 8
  8 15½  

[From the transcriber: the rows and columns don't add up!]

HYTHNLBTWOC (38)
CORNELL (25)

  C1 C2 C3  
H1 6-1 5-2 2-5 13
H2 6-1 5-2 6-1 17
H3 4-3 3-4 1-6 8
  5 8 12  

HYTHNLBTWOC (25½)
SOMMERVILLE {sic} (37½)

  S1 S2 S3  
H1 6-1 1-6 4-3 11
H2 1-6 1-6 6-1 8
H3 1-6 1½-5½ 4-3
  13 17½ 7  

SOMMERVILLE {sic} (38½)
CORNELL (24½)

  S1 S2 S3  
C1 4-3 1½-5½ 6-1 11½
C2 1-6 1½-5½ 5-2
C3 1-6 2-5 2½-4½
  15 16  

HYTHNLBTWOC (25 1/3)
MIT (37 2/3)

  H1 H2 H3  
M1 1½-5½ 6-1 1-6
M2 6-1 4 2/3-2 1/3 6-1 16 2/3
M3 1-6 6-1 5½-1½ 12½
  12½ 4 1/3  

TORONTO (29 2/3)
SOMMERVILLE {sic} (33 1/3)

  S1 S2 S3  
T1 6-1 4 2/3-2 1/3 7-0 17 2/3
T2 1-6 2-5 3-4 6
T3 3-4 1-6 2-5
6
  11 13 1/3 9  

MIT (47)
CORNELL (16)

  M1 M2 M3  
C1 1-6 3-4 1-6 5
C2 1½-5½ 1-6 1½-5½ 4
C3 1-6 3-4 3-4 7
  17½ 14 15½  

TORONTO (39)
MIT (24)

  M1 M2 M3  
T1 1½-5½ 5½-1½ 4-3 11
T2 6-1 4-3 6-1 16
T3 6-1 5-2 1-6 12
  10  

HYTHNLBTWOC (23)
TORONTO (40)

  H1 H2 H3  
T1 7-0 6-1 4-3 17
T2 2-5 4-3 6-1
12
T3 2-5 3-4 6-1
11
  10 8 5  

QUALIFYING MATCH HYTHNLBTWOC vs WATERLOO

This match was played to determine the fifth and final playoff position for the Continentals. The final score was HYTHNLBTWOC (45½), WATERLOO (17½). H1..16½ H2..17 H3..12.

FINAL SCORES

SOMMERVILLE {sic} (144⅓), MIT (136⅔), TORONTO (132⅔), HYTH (111⅚), CORNELL (104½)

FINAL PAIR SCORES

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 RANK
S2 M3 T1 S1 H1 T2 M2 M1 H2 C1 C3 T3 C2 S3 H3 PAIR
60⅚ 53½ 53⅙ 52 46½ 45½ 45⅙ 38 37⅓ 36½ 36 34 32 31½ 28 TOTAL


The North American Tiddlywinks Association - NATwA

Byron Alexandroff
8 Burmont Road
Toronto 19, Ontario

February 19, 1971

Dear Rocinante, other freaks and N.A. winkers,

1971 will be the year that TIDDLYWINKS will emerge from oblivion in North America. Up to this point in time I must admit that I was rather sceptical about making any preditions about the fate of the game, but now it must be said.

The Continentals held in Toronto proved to be the most successful since the inception of the NATwA, and future matches can only demand more attention.

The trick in maintaining a credible reputation is for all NATwA members and associate members to continue their adventures in tiddlywinks "turning on" their friends along the way. It's been proven that consistent geometric expansions supply an enormous result.

With the participation and devotion of all loyal winkers, "how can we get squopped out?".

Future events in North American Tw circles will be the Pairs Tournament to be held in Ottawa the first weekend in May, and of course the Regional playdowns later on in the year. Enough cannot be said for impromptu matches between geographically close teams. These are the matches that will interest future winkers and do good in "spreading the word".

That's just about all I'd like to say about WINKS this time around, except for a brief note to all team captains and associated administrative aides. Please sell the membership cards that you were given in Toronto. Twenty percent of the revenue is for your team and the rest for the NATwA. We need the money...... really.

GOOD LUCK ON EXAMS, TESTS, SEX
and etc.,

Squoppingly Yours,

/signed/ Bryon "bubbles" Alexandroff
Bryon Alexandroff
SEC.-GEN. NATwA

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