Stroboscopic photo of a wink being potted in the game of tiddlywinks The North American Tiddlywinks Association
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This issue is know known as Newswink 3.


[Cartoon entitled "Snots SCHROEDER. Sign held by Schroeder: "ONLY 31 DAYS TO MITCHELL WAND'S BIRTHDAY". Sign held by Snoopy "WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BEETHOVEN?

Newswink

THE OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF THE NORTH AMERICAN TIDDLYWINKS ASSOCIATION

EDITORS:
Rosie Wain
Andy Tomaszewski

Vol. III No. 1
September, 1970

WAND DRAFTED

WASHINGTON - A recent news bulletin has released the name of Mitchell Wand as among those due for conscription later this year.

Wand is well known throughout the Winking world not only for his brilliant organisational ability but also for his performance on the mat itself. As Secretary General of the North American Tiddlywinks Association for the past three years he has reorganised it beyond all recognition and while based at MIT created a top-level club which since then has been known as the "Pot 'n' Squop Centre of North America". In his home town of Waltham, Massachusetts, Wand granted NEWSWINK the following exclusive interview:

NEWSWINK: Is it true that after much wrangling with the Selective Servitude Service, it became clear that you were going to be drafted, so you found yourself a spot in the so-called "six monthg program"?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: Can we assume that this means you will be going on active duty for about four months during the coming year?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: As per norm have they refused to commit themselves to dates?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: Won't it likely be November through mid-March?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: So it must look very unlikely that you will be able to attend the next Continentals. Do you propose to appoint an Acting Secretary of Secretaries to run ANTwA during your absence?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: In that case, you would want self-nominations by mid-October, or so.

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: Will you want to resume your duties immediately upon your return to civilian life in March if the membership does not, of course, elect another permanent Secretary at Congress 1971?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: Would not a possible beneficial side-effect be that you will have a lighter academic load this year, so that the long-bruited industrial funding campaign can get started although with the current economic pinch, it might not get too far?

WAND: Yes.

N.W.: Do you have any other items for NEWSWINK?

WAND: No.

POSITION VACANT
casual labour
November 1970-mid March 1971

ACTING
SECRETARY GENERAL
of
NATwA


editorial

PRECURSOR

I have just been reading the latest WINKING WORLD and although I found it a little hard to digest, as usual, it made me realize that a periodical of this type can function in much the same way as the mass communications media, only on a smaller scale and, consequently, more efficiently. WW-17 discusses such topics as the image of the game of Winks, the present organisation of Tiddlywinks Associations, and the direction in which they and their members are headed. It also touches upon the possibility and format of singles matches and criticizes the present scoring system.

We feel that NEWSWINK could very well follow this example, much to the benefit of its readers, and of NATwA as a hole [sic]. In this issue, we shall touch upon several speculations about the future of NATwA and the game of Winks in general. We expect that all those members who are not totally apathetic will write to the editors on these matters, whether it be criticism or support. We hope that a good number of other issues will be raised as well.

The next issue of NEWSWINK (around Christmastime) will be largely devoted to "Letters to the Editor", where everyone who has not previously had the opportunity will be able to air their views. By the time the 1971 Continentals are to be played, everyone should have had sufficient time to come to their own conclusions on the topics discussed, and we hope that, as a result, the annual Congress will be more productive than ever before.

STIMULANT

Can you count the number of times YOU have spoken to an unconverted heathen about the game of Winks? And would you not agree that the overwhelming majority of responses are a combination of laughter (or at least a smirk) and comments akin to: "I haven't played Tiddlywinks since I was a child"? And do you not agree that the uninitiated have a poor opinion of the game because it is known as a child's pastime, one of {\underline the} most primitive of children's games, and graded just a trifle below the game of "Jacks"? And is it not true that it is extremely difficult to persuade the ignorant masses to partake in that first enlightening game (leaving nothing more to be done to addict the person concerned)? And what are YOU going to do about it!?!!

Perhaps we could begin by changing the name of the game to "Winks" (officially) thereby distinguishing it from the nursery pastime, and making more credible the statement that Winks is not the game with which they are familiar, but rather one which is far more sophisticated and which involves strategies similar to those encountered in Chess in their level of complexity.

The changing of its name would considerably aid the popularization of the game on a personal level, but perhaps a promptional programme could be initiated which would familiarize the public with the game on a larger scale!

COMPROMISE

It may be that we should concern ourselves more with internal matters, such as the organisation of NATwA, or perhaps a re-assessment of the scoring system both for tournaments and for individual games, and whether or not the
latter should be assessed in collaboration with the Winks associations in the British Isles.

One member of IFTwA has proposed that, rather than allowing a total of 7 points for each game, the score should be calculated on the basis of 3 points for winks in the pot, and one point for each wink left uncovered, resulting in totals of scores which range from one to 63. Preliminary tests are reported to have demonstrated that the system is a highly practicable one.

Back on this side of the ocean, it has crossed out minds that the political organisation of NATwA is not all it should be. The editors feel that a distribution of official functions within our Association might be beneficial in a number of ways. The appointment of members of various teams to Treasurer, Public Relations Man (or Woman for our Lib. readers), Regional Tournament Organisers, etc., would lighten the burden of the Secretary allowing him to devote his time to correspondence and official business on the Continental level and, at the same time, allowing the other jobs to be performed more efficiently. It would increase communication within NATwA, and
would create a greater feeling of involvement on the part of teams which are at present geographically dissociated from the two existing centres of political activity, i.e., MIT and Cornell.

LAST GASP

The editors encourage all members who have opinions on any or all of the abovementioned topics (or any other idea that may be brewing in the back of your minds) to take a few minutes to write a "Letter to the Editor". We shall publish as many as possible in the next issue of NEWSWINK.

Andy Tomaszewski

*** NOTE ***

Please address all "Letters to the Editor" to:

NEWSWINK
155 Parkdale Ave., #2
Ottawa 3, Ontario,
Canada


letters to the editor

Dear Ed:

Your last NEWSWINK was really good. My team's name is HYTHNLBTWOC (pronounced hith-nil-bit-wock), or "Hark Yon Tree Has No Leaves But They Will Out". It is not that I like Frisbee more than Tiddlywinks, its [sic] just
that my team was so much better at it than Winks.

*

Dear Editor:

(Severin opens his letter by describing a mystical incident which occurred on the weekend of the Pairs Tournament in Ithaca. The story is related in the Comics section of this issue.)

.... Meanwhile, it's looking less and less likely that I'll be in Ithaca next year. Just where I'll be is still wide open, depending on where I can find a good place to teach. I might end up in Georgia (!), Virginia, Michigan, Maine, Lower New York State, Philadelphia, or the Boston area. As far as Winks goes, Georgia would be almost exile: I'd have to start two teams, and any action there would have to be a separate NATwA. Other areas I'd be able to start a team and have some teams to play against, though Virginia is a bit far out. If in Michigan, I'd probably team up with Perlo and form one, and if in Philly, I'd play with Sunshine, while if in Boston, I'm a Somervillain. The possibilities for speculation are almost endless. Certainly, if I end up with some other already existing team it'll change a lot of things. Ferd vs. me is the oldest rivalry in NATwA; how strange it'd be playing with him; or with Sunshine.
Well, it's all speculation; I hope I find out soon enough.

Severin Drix


comics

The Green Squidger Case

The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been omitted for no particular reason at all.

[cartoon using Peanuts characters]  [Linus: ] ONLY LOST ONE GREEN SQUIDGER THIS WEEKEND [Charlie Brown: ] THAT'S A 0.89 PER CENT LOSS  [Linus: ] LET'S GO FOR A PICNIC IN THE GORGE [Charlie Brown: ] 93.2% OF TOURISTS PICNIC IN THE GORGE  [Linus: ] LET'S CLIMB UP THE THE TOP WHERE NO-ONE EVER GOES [Charlie Brown: ] ONLY 0.2% EVER GO UP THERE  [Linus: ] WHAT A THRILL TO ENCOUNTER A SPOT OF SUCH OVERWHELMING BEAUTY. I'LL  BET WE'RE THE FIRST TO HAVE EVER SET FOOT HERE.  [Charlie Brown: ] WHAT'S THAT IN THE WATER?  [Linus: ] IT'S A GREEN SQUIDGER!  [Charlie Brown: ] THE ODDS ARE ABOUT THREE BILLION TO ONE OF FINDING A  SQUIDGER HERE.  [Charlie Brown: ] AND THE ODDS OF IT BEING GREEN ARE 4 TO 1. [Linus: ] WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF IT SAYING YVONNE F. LUKEY ON IT?


Little Jack Horner
Sat in his corner
Squidging off.


Dear Editor:

I want it made clear that I had nothing to do with the production of the last issue.

Mitchell Wand


At the Pairs Tournament, upon being asked why he wore two different-colored socks, Ferd replied, "To keep my feet warm."


dear rosie,

Dear Rosie.

I have a problem and can you help me. Please? I am a perfect good wink but nobody wants to play with me because I am a different color than all the other winx. I squop well and my mother who is also a wink says I have a good shape.  My Picture:  top front side o - -  What should I do before I grow old and warped?  Thanx you

Dear Miss X,

Don't lose hope! Andy, for one, says he wants to play with you. And I have a notion that Phil Villar feels the same way.

Dear Rosie,

First let me tell you how much I like your column; it's always been good knowing someone like you is out there. And now, in my moment of great anguish, I hope you can help me.

I am a small, red wink and I've been subjected to excessive squopping and senseless squidging for several years now. The only joy in my life throughout all this has been a lovely, shiny, yellow wink who started each game far away in the opposite corner, but before long we'd manage to meet, be it in the midst of some monstrous pile or off alone, away from all the action, where nobody would bother us. And oh! the bliss in the pot

But now no more! Alas, after the recent match in Ithaca, everyone plays a silly color order that always pits red and yellow against each other. We are purposefully kept apart and when we do meet it's hard not to feel a vengeance toward a wink that's trying to squop you, to restrict your freedom.

Your Silly Rules Are Spoiling The Second Most Beautiful Tiddlywinks Romance Ever.

Please use your influence to help stop these atrocities.

Dear Red,

What was the MOST beautiful romance? Moishe and Diane?


* NEW SCORING SYSTEM *

According to the proposed new scoring system (as mentioned in the editorial), scores consist of the total for one pair vs. the total for the other pair, allowing three points for each wink in the pot and one for each wink left uncovered on the mat. The game ends when {\underline one| player has potted out or after time has expired, if none of the players has potted out. Theoretically, the object of the game in this form is that a pair pot eleven of its winks while allowing the opposing pair the least possible opportunity to pot.

The Ottawa team approached the new concept with optimism; however, when subjected to experimentation, the system proved unsatisfactory for practical application.

It is true that this method shifts the emphasis of Winks back to potting but, as a result, it drastically reduces the variety of strategies that may be employed. This makes the game far less complex and, indeed, likens it more than ever before to its nursery couterpart.

We propose that if any changes are to be made in the game itself, they should be such that the calibre (i.e., sophistication) of Winks should be heightened rather than lowerd.

The EDITORS


ask andy

Dear Andy,

In freeing my opponent's wink at the end of free turns, it submarined under a very critical pile, of which I had control. Should that particular wink be moved aside, i.e. in such a position that it is now on top of that pile, or should it be placed beside that pile at the point of entry, thus putting it in a position of great strategic importance, or should another wink on the mat be freed in the usual manner, or can I choose any other wink on the mat to be moved aside?

Captain Nemo

Dear Nemo,

I dunno.


quiz

1. What was the FIRST most beautiful Tiddlywinks romance?

2. What does Don Quixote's horse have to do with Tiddlywinks?

3. Who considers himself the Superorganiser and Ace No. 2 bureaucrat in NATwA? And where the hell is he?

4. Does Severin Drix look more like his father or his mother?

5. Will Moishe ever find Diane?

6. Why can we assume that Charlie Brown's mother owns a laundromat?

7. What Winker in a recent Letter to the Editor established a record for the most frequent use of the word "I"?

8. What does the "C" stand for in HYTHNLBTWOC?

9. Where is the one (we hope) misprint in NEWSWINK?

10. Who is Snots?

Send answers to Rosie Wain. First entry with all 10 correct will be named Yvonne F. Lukey of the year.


MATCHES

DON QUIXOTE'S HORSE COMES IN SECOND!

Bob 'n' Bull Top Pair

ITHACA - The Pairs Tournament eventually took place at Cornell University on May 2nd, although the turnout was not as good as expected. This was probalby due to the shambles and disorganisation of the weekend before in Boston.

However, Sid and Marty and the other five pairs who turned out had a good weekend. All the games without fail were very close and of a particularly high standard.

Computation of the results with and without the intermittent participation of Sid and Marty gave somewhat the same overall final score:

  1. Bob 'n' Bull 42
  2. Rose 'n' Andy 36
  3. Sunshine and Naomi 32
  4. Severin and Perlo 30
  5. Moishe 'n' Dave 25½
  6. Sid and Marty 9

Congratulations to Ferd and Bob who everyone thought deserved the title of Top Pair in NATwA.

Boston Tea Party

CORNELL - HARTFORD - HARPUR - MIT MATCH

BOSTON, April 26 & 27 - This weekend must have hit the all-time low in NATwA organisation and if enthusiasm and interest are any criterion the result was a win for Ottawa.

When the teams gathered together at MIT on the Saturday morning, Harpur was missing again. The Cornell Captain was missing as well; very odd, considering he was the one that organised the match.

Present were three people from Hartfor, three from Cornell, a smattering from MIT and Regis, three enthusiastic spectators from Ottawa (plus one spare) who weren't even supposed to be there, and the top Somerville pair without whose valuable suggestions we would never have though to spin a Coca-Cola bottle to find out just who should be playing against whom.

In the midst of all this pandemonium, Mitchell Wand was vehemently denying any part in, or even knowledge of the organisation of it all. The outcome of the gathering was a min pairs tournament and the uninspiring nature of the matches may have been a factor in the absence of some of the better players at the Pairs Tournament the following weekend.

Socially, however, the weekend was a success. A party was held at the home of Rosemary Earles, the Regis Captain, for which Ferd very kindly almost supplied the chocolate pudding.

Old Timer's Special !!!

Classic Cornell vs. Classic MIT match.

Cornell: Severin, Perlo, Naomi, Rosie.

MIT: Ferd, Bob, Sunshine, Moishe (specially aged).

CORNELL 18, MIT 10


* * * ADDRESSES * * *

Secretary General

Mitchell Wand
346 Lincoln St.
Waltham, Mass. 02154
617-891-4155

NEWSWINK Editors

Rosie Wain
7 Regent Street
Ottawa 1, Ont.
613-235-6539

Andy Tomaszewski
155 Parkdale Ave. #2,
Ottawa 3, Ont.
613-729-3941

Somerville

Ferd T. Bull
14 Kenwood Ave.
Somerville, Mass.
617-OAK-BYTE

HYTHNLBTWOC

Sunshine
424 So. 43rd St.
Philadelphia, Penn. 19104
215-222-1276

Hartford

Phil Villar
30 James St.
Hartford, Conn. 06106
203-232-9352

Toronto

Lindsey Horenblas
(M.I.R.C.)
31 Lynn Haven Rd.
Toronto 19, Ont.
416-783-1772

Possible Addresses

Case

Wayne Jennings
11201 Euclid
Cleveland, Ohio 44106
216-368-3120

Harpur?

Daniel Posner
6 So. Liberty Ave.
Endicott, N.Y.
607-754-2189

Regis

Rosemarie Earles
Regis College
Weston, Mass. 02193
617-893-8802

MIT

Tim Schiller
Class of '72
c/o MacGregor House
MIT
Cambridge, Mass. 02139

Cornell

?


****** RECORDS ******

World 4-pot relay record broken! Old record was 24. New record established (twice) by Ferd, Bob, Sunshine, and Severin - 33 !!!

Sunshine potted 997 of 1000 winks at a distance of 2 in. (Ed. note - where did Sunshine get the 1000 winks?)

Sonny and Chine singing: "I Got You, Naomi"

The record for potting two winks at a distance of 14" is 2.

"Broken Leg" by The Ides of March.

Phil Villar was the first Winker to appear on the Johnny Carson Show. (Or was it Johnny Carson that appeared on the Phil Villar Show?)

"Can't Get Used to Losing You" by Screaming Lord Snots


FERD

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